More and more, He teaches me that nothing, absolutely nothing, is in my control. I want to so badly control everything. I guess it is the touch of OCD that lives inside of me.
But as so many have been telling me in the recent hours, let go and let GOD. I need to listen to them, and not just listen but let it resonate deep within me. More than listen, I need to believe it. For so long, that has been the challenge for me. I hear it and I say that I believe, but do I actually.
Where is my faith?
Why is it so easy for me to tell others to believe, to trust, to keep the faith, but yet, I have such a difficult time with it myself.
I am five days out of my wedding day, and I am consumed with worry that it will rain on my outdoor ceremony and reception. We wanted it to be outside–after all, that is where Cameron and I feel most alive. That is where we feel the presence of God the most, and now we are confronted with a possibility of rain. A big possibility.
I have good people though. People to remind me to embrace it and others that confidently say it won’t rain. Either way, rain or shine, the Lord is still good. He has already blessed me beyond belief by giving me Cameron–and that is blessing enough.
I, too, am reminded that if it rains…the sun always shines after the rain. And that rain is God’s gift to this earth–it is what makes the harvest grow–it is the rain that brings new life. And after all, we are that harvest–we are the people that need to be cultivated each day.
And if the sun shines, then the Lord’s light is shining on us.
Either way, it is good…because when He made it all, He said that it was good. Thanks be to God.
Drip down, O heavens, from above, And let the clouds pour down righteousness; Let the earth open up and salvation bear fruit, And righteousness spring up with it. I, the LORD, have created it.
Isaiah 45: 8