realities

Life, it becomes more and more real each year. each month. each day.

-A day will come when you receive bad news. Bad news of a lost job, a broken heart, or even worse a lost loved one. These are the things that keep me up at night. The things I can’t control–this is what keeps me up at night.

I got bad news this afternoon of someone losing her father. A decision that he made. This someone is the closest thing to an angel.

You have no words when you get news like this. All I could pray was that the Lord would have me carry her burden.  And so I am.

All that I can think of is that the Lord gives us only what we can withstand. But  can any of us ever really withstand that kind of pain? Can any of us really withstand the horror of losing a loved one? Why do these nightmares become a reality to even the most faithful and good?

I don’t think any of us can truly answer these questions. But what I realize in asking these questions is that this life is so temporary. This is not. our. home. The wars, the oppression, the fears, the shootings, the violence –they  are not our home.

In moments like this, I realize I don’t want life to pass me by. I don’t want to look back and say I should have told him  I love you one last time. I don’t want to wake up one day and say my life was in vain, with no purpose.

I am moved by the words of Ann Voskamp:

“Living radical isn’t about where you live — it’s about how you love.

It’s about realizing– Love doesn’t happen when you arrive in a certain place. It happens when your heart arrives in a certain place – wherever you are, right where you are, dirt road Africa or side street America.

Because it isn’t where we love. It’s how we love. It’s who we love. The reward of loving is in the loving; loving is itself the great outcome of loving. The success of loving is in how we change because we kept on loving – regardless of any thing else changing. The value of loving is in the value of being like Christ.”

That is my hope. To. love. radically.

A hope to make my life about

do’s instead of don’ts

chasing a dream instead of fearing failure

finding peace in even the chaos

wrestling with ideas and growing in Spirit

searching for the face of God in even the smallest things

stopping and being present with people and with God

Loving radically. wherever, whenever and whoever.

I don’t ever want to look back–only forward. Towards Him.

They say, Life is short. And in a way I am thankful for that–it gives me the urgency to love without fear and to hope that I will soon be home.

For Anne.

May you be surrounded with love and know that today and forever we will help you carry the burden.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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